melancholia

what is this melancholy?
in the land of the prosperous,
where the nobles were meant to live merrily,
there is none but one who tries to be.

living within those who live a hectic lifestyle of enjoying happiness,
one leads the lifestyle of chasing it.
hoping to live in the happily ever after,
but always shrouded with "i'm sure it'll be later."

a day, a month, a year.
milestone after another,
the one holds dear,
while thinking... what really matters?

is that who i see?
one who lives with another;
or one who lives for another?
cause i fear to find nothing more than the mere shadow of the yesteryears.

or maybe, it's just a projection of what was held dear.

Ironic thoughts of a random mind.

I cut to remind myself not to think of you, yet the very pain reminded me.

The moment of silence that sounded like death.

Pull out that fiery angst from deep within, and cast it into the ball of flames.

The sight of her burns so deeply in the eyes, yet never to be seen again.

Days past while watching the ticks of a clock, noticing every passing second yet holding on to none.

tales; eternally retold

the tales of the infusion of swords and souls,
the tales of the battles between heroes and crooks,
the tales of the love between seagulls and fishes,

eternally retold.

sometimes you wonder, what's wrong? you've heard the story, and you know the ending. What's the point of the story once more? but well, you still watch it, don't you?

you knew the swords will communicate and fuse with the souls.
you knew the heroes will win.
you knew the love wasn't possible.

so what are you hoping for?

what's the point in life if Risk was just a board game? we roll the dice only hoping that the rules change.

so what are you hoping for? do you want to wish for a change?

cause' i don't. but sometimes, it's not just about what you want.

it's about how you feel.

i was doing fine, till you teared.

walking home, it was the best route that he can get.
a place where nothing seemed wrong or anything,
even if there was, bah, just shrug it off.

was just doing fine, great rather, walking the road that he chose,
till that moment when he heard that sob and saw that drop,
and did i tell you how he took the wrong bus that happened to go to your place?

haha. how dumb can he get; can any meter measure? probably just about 6 feet under.


i can tell you the wildest of tales,
but what's the point when its best when i say nothing at all
what hurts the most, ain't being so close,
its that i have to block out thoughts of you so i dont lose my head
and i hope i can be walking away
sometimes it just feels like you're irreplaceable
chu ci zi wai,
it just reminds me of dui ni di yi chi chang qing ge,
and if you're gone,
maybe i can make you banana pancakes and pretend that it's the weekend instead of leaving,
cause i'd love it if you call,
and it'll be really good to hear your voice saying my name,
it makes me weak,
but it's anytime better than being out of my head.

Yellowcard - Dear Bobbie

Dear Bobbie,
Do you remember when you were young and very pretty? I do.
I remember pleated skirts, black and white saddle shoes.
Do you remember dancing that night?
I do, I still think of you when we dance,
Although we cant jitterbug as we did then.

Do you remember when,
How long has it been?
1945 you opened my blue eyes,
To see a whole new life.

Do you remember when,
I told you this that night,
That if you're by my side,
When everyday begins,
I'll fall for you again.
I made a promise when,
I told you this that night.

I'll be fine.
When I die, then I die loving you.
It's alright, I'll be fine.
When I die then I die loving you,
Loving you, loving you.

Do you remember the times we would give up on each other and get back together.
Then we finally was married in 1949.
We drove the yellow convertible all night long.
Do you remember? I do.

Life has led us here,
Together all these years.
This house that we have made,
Holds twenty-thousand days.
And memories we've saved,
Since life has lead us here.

And I'll be fine.
’Cause when I die, then I die loving you.
It's alright, I'll be fine.
Cause when I die then I die loving you,
Loving you, loving you.

I'm coming home to you,
Stepping off my shoes.
Resting in my chair.
See you standing there,
The silver in your hair.

I'm coming home to you,
When I lay tonight, when I close my eyes,
I know the sun will rise,
Here or the next life.
As long as you're still mine, then it’s alright.

I'll be fine
Cause when I die, then I die loving you
It's alright, I'll be fine
Cause when I die then I die loving you
Loving you, loving you

You have grey hair now,
But you're a beautiful woman,
And the years have been good to both of us.
We walk slow now, but we still have each other.
The glue of love is still bonding us together.
That is what I remember. Do you remember?
________________________________________________

it's songs like this that make you wonder why you're not in a relationship. haha.

ain't it sweeeeeet. =)

though i nearly skipped this song straight because of the scary voice at the start. HEH.

you never know why you do things sometimes. sometimes, when you just wanna skip a song, something holds you back and you might just fall in love with the song. and you wonder what's the something.

subconscious?
intuition?
6th sense?
gut feel?

i dont know. i just know it's goood. haha. =)

Liberty X - Holding on for you

trust is all it takes
people make mistakes

sunshine fades to grey
the second i'm away
minutes turn to hours without you

Time keeps marching on
The summers been and gone
and i'm still here alone still waiting

I'm on my own a million miles away
temptation all round
it won't be long so please be strong
cause i'm holding on for you

trust is all it takes
people make mistakes
cause we are only human - lets face it

And I struggle through the day
pretend that i'm ok
And make believe that you're here beside me

yes i'm on my own a million miles away
temptation all around
it won't be long so please be strong
cause i'm holding on for you

you are the one that i can truly believe in
so don't ever think that i would ever diss you baby
without a doubt you are my rhyme and my reason
and i won't let you down

cause i'm on my own a million miles away
temptation all round
it wont be long so please be strong
i'm holding on for you

i'm on my own feelin blue
miles from home
i'm lost without you
but i'll be strong keep holding on
holding on for you

outro
_____________________________________________________________

how sweeeet. =)

trust is all it takes, people make mistakes.
cause we're only human - lets face it.

Dashboard Confessional - Again I go unnoticed

So quiet.
Another wasted night.
The television steals the conversation.
Exhale.
Another wasted breath;
Again it goes unnoticed.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired,
'Cause if it's more than that I fear that I might break.
Out of touch. Out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed,
'Cause I can't read your rolling eyes.
Out of touch. Are we out of time?

Close lipped;
Another goodnight kiss,
Is robbed of all its passion.
Your grip;
Another time is slack,
It leaves me feeling empty.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired,
'Cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break.
Out of touch. Out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed,
'Cause I can't read your rolling eyes.
Out of touch. Are we out of time?

I'll wait until tomorrow,
Maybe you'll feel better then...
Maybe we'll be better then.
So what's another day,
When I can't bear these nights of thoughts of going on without you?
This mood of yours is temporary.
It seems worth the wait to see you smile again.
Out of the corner of my eye,
Won't be the only way you're looking at me then.

So quiet.
Another wasted night.
The television steals the conversation.
Exhale.
Another wasted breath;
Again it goes unnoticed.
____________________________________________________________________________________

a very nice song.

very...nice.

paradoxical; all over again.

"men live to die."

ain't it sooooo paradoxical?

"we search/wait/yearn/hope for things that are not there."

omg. it's just like so stupid if you think about it. but of course, the person searching/waiting/yearning/hoping never feels so. or at least, doesn't want to.

"wanting something/one back after so long."

like omg. i totally understand. it's like such a fuckin' waste of time when life's so short, dont you think?

But hey. we're paradoxical, so does that even matter? because i'm thinking about it. even if it hurts so to.

Had this thought in my mind just now.

If you're going to live on, knowing that you'd die one day... why live?

Well, I guess maybe life's about realizing what it's about eh? so to all out there, if you're like that, thinking what's this whole life about... why don't you live it meaningfully and realize what's life REALLY about before doing anything to yourself/whatever? It's not too late to do anything then, right? =)

Jia you.

P.S. friends, i have no thought of ending life now. dont worry. haha. =)

Yellowcard - Sure Thing Falling

He likes vampires and hitlist radio
But turns it off when he hears
This one song he knows
And you breathe the windows down

You're driving I4 as you make your way back home
You ride in silence because
He will not let go
And you breathe the windows down
It's a new place that you have found

[Chorus]
But I've been up late writing books
All about heroes and crooks
One of them saves you from this
The other one steals you and then
Sure things fall
And all sure things fall

Do you remember how we used to get so high?
It didn't work at first
We tried it two more times
And we could breathe the windows down

I was thinking of the temperature outside
Cool like the water
That was running from our eyes
And we could breathe the windows down
It's a new place that we have found

[Chorus]

He could take you all the way to church this time
But don't forget you
Summed it up in fifty lies

But I've been up late writing books
All about heroes and crooks
One of them saves you from this
The other one steals you

Of all of the places I've looked
And all of the pictures I took
One of them is here with me now
I'm finally finding out how
Sure things fall
All sure things fall

it sounds like this. ...

have you ever heard a heart break?

it sounds a little like this...
"what he saw as an ending was in reality everything less than a start."
or
"every nightmare seemed like a dream to die for, once."

and he wonders why. haha.


goodnight starlight.