life is a paradox.

h8.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 14:55:00 +0000

From differences... and similarities.
You hate someone who's different. He/she might be unique in their own ways, but in any case it's one that you don't like. And you can also hate someone, just because they're like you. When they carry the things that you do, say that words that you speak. You hate it.

From lies... and truth.
Let's face it. No one likes liars. There is always this clear distinction of white lies and lies, well supposedly, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurts just the same. And we can hate someone just because they spoke the truth - like how they left was to make you happier. The golden classic.

From hatred... and love.
Hatred deepens with every additional unit of hate. And whoever coined the term "Love-hate", must have been a genius to see how this two extremes are never that far apart.

It's surprising how people learn how to hate.

and i'm still awake.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 15:58:00 +0000

it's 2am and she calls me cause i'm still awake,
"can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
i don't love him - winter just... wasn't my season."

should i listen, should i go, should i hang up just to show?
but then i looked at the time and said,
"why don't we grab a drink at your favorite place?"

and so we walked through strangers with looks in their eyes,
like they have any right at all to criticize.
"don't worry about them, i'll bite their heads right off."

and so she talked bout' the cards that life dealt,
on the table she cried out loud,
"how can this happen to me?"

i didn't know what to say or to offer that time,
so i looked straight into her eyes,
"don't worry. i'll be here for you."

and so she smiled and gave me a hug,
as we walked right back to her hut,
"thanks for listening, my friend."

well, it's 5am and i'm still awake,
and i wonder who can i call now just to say,
"can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
how do you move on, when you've always been just there?"

blind faith.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 14:42:00 +0000

cause i didn't care what they say,
i was in love with you.
they tried to pull me away,
but they didn't know the truth.

maybe its been too long,
or too deep,
that this faith has gone blind.
i wonder, was it blind right from the start?

but now that i see,
is that the true side of you?
and i would have known it wasn't if it were yesterday...
but i'm not longer in love with you.

time.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 13:32:00 +0000

many have definitely heard about the saying,

"time will heal all wounds... (on the surface)."

and how time will tell if the love is true, whether it was meant holding on or not.

but what will time tell, be it a year or two, if it has never really moved on?

hear my prayer, please.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 13:58:00 +0000

*gasp*

And it all happens again.

Jolt me up to the break of dawn,
only greeted by the picture I've drawn.
Never forget that the world revolves,
as these wet eyes mocks my resolve.

Light a stick, as I walked these streets,
comes a thought my mind will never treat.
The journey I started will never stop,
till the day my heart has reached the top.

They scream, "love is a puzzle, you fix in life."
the pieces fit in - what a perfect lie.
If that is so, I'll need help tonight,
cause I've lost my purpose... and it's hard to find.

I ask not for fortune nor for fame,
for that is just the rich man's game.
I ask for one thing and that is all,
so hear my prayer, ol' mighty god.

"I know I've sinned and I know I'm wrong.
But I'm out of luck and I need some help.
I loved a girl but I left her there,
embarking on a journey much too far away.
So please,
this is all I ask,
to hold her when I'm not around,
love her when she's down and out,
and bless her when she needs the help.
I'm sorry to have asked that much,
but that's all I'll ever ask.
So al'mighty, please.
Listen... to my plea."

write me a lie and i'll live by it.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:57:00 +0000

liar liar,
heart on fire.
write me a lie,
and with it we'll lie.

take my hand,
and i'lll cross my heart.
lead me out of here,
with love there's nothing to fear.

mystery mystery,
make all else history.
they say, "love me and let me go"
and you said, "love me and let us go."

blue october - hate me

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:33:00 +0000

(mv)

Hey Justin this is your mother, it is 2:33 on monday afternoon
I was just calling to see how you were doing,
you sounded really uptight last night it made me a little nervous.
I just wanted to make sure that you were really OK and wanted to see
if you were checked in on your medications.
You know I love ya, see ya, bye bye.

I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

I'm sober now for 3 whole months
It's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again.
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

driftwood.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:52:00 +0000

why is it that you still sway me so, you are like the sea and me, a driftwood.

i'm already perspiring from the irony; though drifting with the waves of uncertainty, i know i'll never be where you'd be.

life can change.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 14:04:00 +0000

Change is the only constant in the world.

It's not hard to understand, we've all been the victims of change. But when the going gets tough, where will you be?

The world can change your life. How you live, how you view things... that's pretty much how people grow stronger, or grow fears. There are so many things that can change one's life...

but there is ONE thing that nothing can change.

You.
The strength to be you can be crushed,
but your values, your character and every bit that makes you who you are...
cannot be destroyed.

You just need to find the strength. The strength to be yourself, the strength to carry on.

From everywhere. Your friends, your family, your loved ones, the TV, the people who are much more disadvantaged.

And I wish you all the strength, to carry on. =)

because you will never know.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:23:00 +0000

Hey prick,

I haven't told you this, so I guess I'll say it here right here right now so you'll get it into your thick dull head.

I HATE YOU.

It's been a while. A long while since I've last felt hatred for anyone. Maybe not that long, like... 9 months back. And I've thought about it. I hate you so much, I'm going to let you feel the pain I've gone through for the past while.

I'm going to make your life so miserable, you wished you never knew me. Life is so going to be interesting. For me at least. Because I hate you so.

Or at least, I am supposed to feel so.

-Zenith

Freedom Writers

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:19:00 +0000

The summer was the worst summer in my short 14 years of life.

It all started with a phone call. My mother was crying and begging, asking for more time as if she was gasping for her last breath of air. She held me as tight as she could and cried. Her tears hit my shirt like bullets and told me we're being thrown out. She kept apologizing to me that I've no home. I should have asked for something less expensive for Christmas.

On that morning, a hard knock on the door woke me up. The sheriff was there to do his job. I looked up at the sky waiting for something to happen. My mother has no family to lean on, no money coming in. Why bother coming to school and getting good grades if I'm homeless?

The bus stops in front of the school, I feel like throwing up. I'm wearing clothes from last year, some old shoes and no new haircut. I kept thinking I should have left then, instead I'm greeted by a couple of friends from my English class last year. And it hits me, Mrs. Gruwell, my crazy English teacher from last year, is the only person who makes me think of hope.

Talking with friends about last year's English and our trips I began to feel better. I received my schedule and the first teacher is Mrs. Gruwell, room 203. I walked into the room and feel all the problems in life are not so important anymore.

I am home.

broken strings.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:23:00 +0000

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh
The truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

where'd you be?

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 08:57:00 +0000

cause on the way down,
when it all breaks,
when the world shakes,
when everything just isn't how it was meant to be...
where'd you be?

when we're on the way down,
the floor doesn't seem anywhere near now,
if we crash and hit the ground,
we're not going to make it back home
will you still be there?

when the rain falls,
and the time stops,
as your fist crashed once more,
will all your soul, heart and love,
will you make it through?

cause i hope, you do.

let's live.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 07:34:00 +0000

some live this life,
with worries and woes.
passing everyday,
wondering why they're here.

but can someone help me understand,
the difference between living and being like them?
because that's the price that they pay,
slowly dying with each passing day.

i can't stand it anymore.
the life of a living,
indifferent from the dead.
please, take me away.

far away to a place,
where we'll stand on the cliffs.
where we'll do things because we want to,
and not we need to.

ultimately, life is a bitch,
cause' it'll take you away someday.
I know I'll fall into the darkness one day,
so let me live when I can.

if it goes well,
let my funeral be a party.
just save the money on everything else,
let's just book a club and drink away.

all i ask of you,
is to catch me if i fall.
because i know if you fall trying to live your dreams,
i will.

because sometimes you fall so hard, you never get up again.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 14:51:00 +0000

they say,
the harder you fall, the higher you bounce.
how's that true when you know it firsthand?
how many times have you crashed so hard that you wished you died?

boxers who get slammed straight right into the ring, where'd they bounce?
right back in the loser's locker room.
people who fall off the top of the corporate ladder, where'd they bounce?
right in the grounds of those they used to step on.

but think about this.

how many great boxers have stood up to a crushing K.O.?
how many great men have rose back to their ranks after suffering a total defeat?
how many times have you said you won't make it... but you did?

Dear all, you are powerful.
You can do it.
It's all up to you.

Linkin Park - Leave out all the rest.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 08:47:00 +0000

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that i've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what i made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that i've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

I can't be who you are

rest in peace.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:59:00 +0000

a guy that lived in the memories,
someone that i never thought i'll meet up for dinner.
a guy who crossed paths with me,
someone that i never knew i'll lose so fast.

i read a blog today
and find out a piece of breaking news.
i flipped the book of memories,
to find him the guy who left pages within.

his first bike,
the maiden ride,
on the way home from the garage,
when it happened.

see my friends,
life can be so unpredictable,
so i urge you to stop wasting away,
to cherish your friends and loved ones.

Rest in Peace, my friend.

the world is full of light.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:25:00 +0000

Don't you remember?
The breaths of silence,
speaking of the days of obliteration.

When the days and nights felt indifferent,
like the way how angels and the reaper seemed.
If there's no difference, what's the point?

But they said,
the world is full of light.
It's just that we never knew the means to feel it.
cause you were down, and you just had to stand
and grab those golden rays with your own hands.

How sad.
When you think of the fallen flowers.
When you think of the colors that have lost their luster.
When you think of the love we shared, lost forever.

But you see,
When the flowers fall, they blossom again.
When the colors fade, the only way is back into the shades of vibrancy.
And if some love are not meant to be, they just ain't meant to be.

And remember,
the world is full of light.
Let's save the fallen flowers,
the faded colors,
the love again never(s),
because this world is full of light.

christmas is here again.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:50:00 +0000

that's fast.

oh wells. =)

(because to me, you're perfect.)

the fine line of good and evil

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 13:19:00 +0000

when you do all the good things and bad things in the world...

does it make you a hero or villain?

fear.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 14:26:00 +0000

everybody's running from something
but they don't know when it's coming
so they keep running and running.

the smile.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 07:49:00 +0000

do you remember when?
how long has it been?
nineteen forty five,
you opened my blue eyes,
to see a whole new life,
do you remember when?

"i don't need you by my side"
you told me this that night,
it was when it all began,
i'll never fall for you again.
i made a promise when,
you told me this that night.

i'll be fine.

do you remember when?
how long has it been?
since the day has past,
i've fell for you again,
it was when it all began,
do you remember when?

oblivion never shows,
like the drunkard never goes.
and every time you cry,
death creeps in more inside.
i broke my promise when,
i said "i'll just be fine".

but i'll be fine.

do you remember when?
how long has it been?
a year has past so fast,
we've met here once again.
all the times we shared,
will you remember then?

it wasn't "hi"s and "bye"s,
it was heartfelt in my eyes.
the love that we once shared,
i looked for it again.
the greatest love is when,
you leave it all behind...

... ain't it right?

cause when i die,
then i die, loving you.
it's alright, i'll be fine.
cause when i die,
then i die, loving you.
Lovin' you...

lovin' you.

if tears meant a fuck.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:29:00 +0000

that was when,
we used to lay our bodies,
and bear our souls,
talking till the sun don't shine.

that was when,
luxurious late night snacks,
wee hour breakfasts,
were the decent meals we had.

that was when,
people would poison minds,
just to make them shine,
but we'll ask them to grow up.

that was when,
the whole world could crash into us,
just to teach us that we're human,
but nothing really mattered to us.

that was when,
if you ever asked,
i'll show you my love,
any day, any time, any where.

that was when,
i took my last breath.
a fall that seemed like forever,
bon voyage.

the phone never rings when you worry about things.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 08:45:00 +0000

how amusing, you can add a happy smiley face or a sad one after the title.

haha.

with a happy smiley, it provides strength and hope to not brood about things,
while a sad smiley amplifies the depression within.

if tears could change things.

noreply@blogger.com (paradox pangs) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 15:34:00 +0000

because the sight of it blinds,
the sound deafens,
the thought burns.

because there's nothing you can do,
there's nothing you can change,
while it simply eats you away.

because it's hard to hold your stand,
when you don't know where's your land,
your heart and your men.

because it's harder when your lover's gone,
there's no one left to blame,
and no one to share the shame.

because you've jumped into the river,
too many times to make it home,
when you needed time all alone.

because there's too much to forget,
there's so much of you,
that i can never detach.

because we ain't got concrete hearts;
when a heart breaks,
it doesn't break even.

in this cold november rain,
maybe you need some time,
maybe you just need some time... all alone.

can you take the truth,
and stare it in the eye.
because i think, i still can't.